Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks?
You should beware of software translators. Just use them as aids and do not rely on their accuracy.
An example using Alta Vista's Babelfish to translate English to Italian is shown below:
I translated "My pet does tricks and rolls over on his back" into the Italian "Il mio animale domestico trucchi e rotola sopra su sua la parte posteriore".
I then translated "Il mio animale domestico trucchi e rotola sopra su sua la parte posteriore" back into English.
This resulted in "My domestic animal makes up and rolls over on its posterior part".
Conclusion: phone the circus!